By Alyssa Johnson Typically, in first marriages the couple precedes children. This allows time to solidify the couple's bond and prepare for the extreme amount of stress that comes along with having children added to the mix. There's time to get to know each other in a deeper and more meaningful way. Unfortunately, this ideal picture is not an option for the step-couple. One or both of you may have children of your own when the "I do's" are said. This equals instant family. Your needs as a couple, to have time to bond and strengthen your marriage, are still present though. At the same time, your children have needs that must be met as well. It ends up being quite a balancing act. What inevitably happens is that you will feel pulled in both directions because there usually is competition for your attention. So how does one master this balancing act? The answer is with time and patience. You need to understand a dynamic in step-families. If you are a biological parent then you and your children are the "insiders" of that family unit. If you are the step-parent, you are the "outsider". Step-families do NOT instantly blend as people assume. In fact, "blending" is a horrible term to use because it assumes everyone wants to become the same. All of you came from different situations and are unique individuals. The goal should be to combine as best as possible. Everyone should honor who the other people in the family are. It takes a long time for everyone to get to that point. Even longer for everyone to be able to get along and possibly like this new situation. It's important to understand this and give your stepfamily the time it needs to make it through the typical growth stages that it will go through. One of the worst things you can do is to try to force it along. Unfortunately this happens quite frequently because people get uncomfortable with the fact that the family isn't functioning as a "normal" family. They are! It's just that it's a normal STEP-family. Visit http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com for more information on how to prepare as a couple and a family for remarriage. Check out the new e-book "THE 7 Questions to Ask Before Remarrying at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com/resource.htm to learn other steps to take in preparing for your new journey of remarriage. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com where she encourages your feedback and suggestions. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alyssa_Johnson http://EzineArticles.com/?Preparing-for-Remarriage:-Time-is-Your-Friend&id=373284 online decision for personal loans
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